--ACCOUNT CHANGE --> IF YOU WATCH ME, AND WISH TO CONTINUE DOING SO, PLEASE GO SAY HELLO TO MY NEW ACCOUNT, [link]


I've been having a --really-- hard time lately. My grandmother is having health problems- serious ones. Think "brain cancer". I just got back from visiting my grandparents, and I had to miss two days of school. Yes, had to, not "was allowed to", or "could". Had to. I'm in advanced classes- for my grade, if not for my school as well. Missing two days of school means falling behind. I'll have to talk to friends to get notes from classes, and I'll have to work extra hard to catch up. I have 3 ceramic "vessels" due by the end of the week, and two extra days would have been really nice.

I'm pondering what school will be like tomorrow. Any mention of the kind of thing I'm dealing off might set off an emotional breakdown, since so much is bottled inside (much like a champagne bottle that's all shook up). All it takes is someone to pull out the cork, and look, we've got an explosion! Or more like a flood. I have to bite my tongue to keep from crying, and I have to scrunch my face, and close my eyes. This is on a current basis, at home, where its silent. I can't imagine the atmosphere at school. Hopefully, I can last the remaining 5 weeks of my freshman year of high school. I have 39 days, and 19 minutes remaining- and that's if I don't miss anymore. Which at this current moment is quite possible.

I learned in mid February that the cancer had moved to her brain. Three weeks ago, the cancer had gone from one to three/four tumors. She broke her arm because of cancer in the bone. She can't move around the house, she spends her days in a hospital bed in the dining room. She's bald- with a tiny bit of fuzz.

Yesterday, she pulled me close because she was apologizing for that fact that she will miss my high school graduation. I had to run from the room to keep from crying right there.

On Thursday, I was outside reading, when I knocked over my glass of water. It shattered.

That was the first time I had cried since mid February.

Now, it won't stop.